The Death of a Bunny

Little Lindt Bunny has been sitting on my table since Apr. It was the very first gift that Adrian gave me. I remembered she was exchanged at the balcony of The Ogilvy Centre with a Cola flavoured lip balm. I had just returned from Hong Kong and a chocolate Easter bunny was a pleasant surprise. It all seemed so long ago.

I decided today that her time was up. Her death certificate at the bottom read 'Expiry: Aug 2009'.

I know that she would rather make an impact on my tastebuds and waistline then die a moldy existence on my table.

As part of the mourning, I documented her slow delicious demise....

This is her in all her gold foil glory

In her Birthday Suit.....

First to go....her ears.....

She's got no brains!!!

Since she doesn't have a brain...why does she need a head?

At this point there were exclaimations of "You ate your rabbit!??!"

YES I DID. AND SHE WAS GOOOOOOOD.

R.I.P little bunny. You did good with your existence. Maybe i'll see you again next year.

All that's left of my Lindt Bunny....

I feel strangely melancholic now that she's gone and I do miss her a bit

My Lemonade List

Adrian showed me the trailer of the new movie, Lemonade this morning. It seems like a socio-documentary of the amazing lives some individuals lead after their unlucky lay-offs. I was envious.

I've been thinking for the last few weeks, months...actually years on the things i want to do when i have the TIME. I've been devising my plan for early retirement since my days in college, whether through a marraige of finanical convenience (I've dropped this idea...) or developing the next Google (maybe still possible?!). But it scares me to think that the older i grow, the more I get caught up in the rat race, which goes against everything i've ever preached about while growing up.

While i realise i would never become a Melvin, trekking to Nepal without a plan or traveller's cheques, it is nice to not be the one planning, to live one day at a time, without a care in the world, without the sensibilities of adulthood.
My split personalities are surfacing, the Lin that has everything under control and the Lin that wants to be Peter Pan. I'm not sure how far each one would go.

But i hate feeling vulnerable and confused.

So to indulge myself in the office, I decided to re-visit my list of "What I want to do if I had all the time in the world".

Here are the top 15
1) MASTER the violin
2) Pick up the Piano again
3) Pick up my Jap again
4) Learn French
5) Learn to bake, cook, sew without killing anyone in the process (including myself)
6) Learn to fly a plane
7) Make a short film inspired by 'Travelling'
8) Write a book about both my grandfathers for our 4th generation
9) Learn to drum
10) Paint a wall mural
11) Start a band
12) Be a jazz singer
13) Get a law and art history degree
14) Learn sign language
15) Become a hustler at the pool table

I realised that I did manage to start on many of these but never managed to follow through with any. Perhaps soon in the near future, I would make the time to finally hit professional recognition with one of these, even if it means doing it after 7pm.

Otherwise, it might not be too late to start after 55.

From the winter of 2007

November 07

Annual Contemplation

It's that time of the year again....towards end, when you sit and think over the events and chapters that unfolded over the last 12 months (well almost...) I know it's an over-used line but time really flies....it's scary...At the beginning of 2006 I was still in Shanghai trudging through the cold Chinese winter working my ass off till the wee hours of the morning in a pounding electronica club filled with booze-tranquilized individuals. Today, I’m working in the middle of Singapore’s Shenton Way, running up and down a swanky mega ad agency (A mere figment of my imagination back in Feb). How the tide has turned and time changes everything. 2006 is indeed a symbolic year for me, with enough activities and memories for me to spin stories in the coming years ahead.

Amidst the speed of action and tumultuous events of 2006, I seem to have lost some time and memories which I should have stopped to savor. And now, when the dust has settled, I find that time to breathe, to ponder, to think about events, people and lessons that are dear to me. It’s all slowly coming back to me…in flashes of sights, sounds, smells…I can sometimes almost feel myself back in Shanghai and how real it feels standing at the Bund, walking along Huai Hai Road, the walls of BonBon, the street of my old house, the smell of the bbq mutton sticks, the people that I left behind. And yet women are capricious creatures, whilst I remain reminiscent of my Shanghai adventure, I carry the hope and excitement of a new adventure in Singapore, a taste of another side of life I have yet experienced. Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side.

Who knows where I’ll be the same time next year, writing another annual blog entry. For now, I’m waiting to celebrate Christmas again in Singapore but also romanticizing the thought of autumn leaves falling on the boulevards of Shanghai. I think I just need the peace and stability back in my life as I leave the action of youth behind….

China Diaries Part 2 (Sept 2006)

Another one....

September 11

China Diaries Part 2

Friday afternoon....it was IMpossible to get a cab in this city....goodness....why are there so many people??? what happens when your country faces a population of such gastronomic numbers? the result....they needed to be herded like sheeps, herded with whistles to cross the road, get on and off the train, to get into queues...and yet....they STILL never learn.

I had my queue cut thrice today by some smart suitted, briefcase carrying chinamen. can't they just wait for their turn?

It made me wonder....perhaps this is really survival of the fittest...from youth it has been imbued in them that if they do not fight for what they need, they would never get it....it would never be THEIR turn...because there are just too many people to fight with. Back home...it was always, get in queue for your turn. Thought it irritates the shit out of me when someone cuts in front of me at macdonalds and shoves their money at the cashier for their next hamburger....it taught me that 'when in china, do as the chinese do'....haha i've mastered the art of fighting for cabs that friday afternoon. I had to fight with old people, women with crying babies, couples.....but oblivious to all, i did it the china style - open the door and sit in before the previous passenger pays and gets off.....otherwise i would never have gotten to my destination.

When will the people really learn and change....i thought...perhaps never becase they are always faced with the defacto problem of people, more people and more people. The masses would need to be herded like cows, propogated from young....no wonder communism prospered in this country.

We all have ugly sides to our society, china non-withstanding....i guess i'll just have to learn to accept that and stop rolling my eyes whenever the people rush into the trains and try to wriggle their butts for a place in the already-very-full roll of seats.

Looking at the bright side: more people = bigger market = more biz opportunities.......i'm still staying

China Diaries Part 1 (Sep 2006)

An old entry from my previous blog space

September 06

China Diaries Part I

6 months and 1 day into china, unbelievably i'm still alive.

The pre-china beliefs about the dirties toilets, spitting men, cows on the streets, bicycles instead of cars....well i realised some are just half-baked truths.

China is still an amazing country and it never ceases to amaze, the people, the culture, the scenes, the history...

But sometimes enough is enough....the longing for some solid hokkien mee and chai tow kuay is beginning to kick in....the constant chinese chatterings (gasp! worse...shanghainese chattering) is seriously beginning to bug me, i can't even order a burger at macdonald's in english...which explains why i have to pen this down in english.

The idea of queuing does not really exist in these people's mind, it gets bothersome when your polite singaporean attitude kicks in...which on the flipside can be read as inability to fight for what you want. On this side of the world, it's the survival of the fittest, as it has always been for the past 100 over years.

In a way, China really lets you see the best and worst of yourself, i don't hate it and i don't hate it...but i appreciate my time of growth and learning here. People come to this country with expecations and the elitist idea that they are better and smarter than the comrades here, unfortunately this myopic vision would only limit the vast amount of experience and knowledge you can otherwise learn here. The chinese have much to learn indeed, but honestly so do the rest of us.

This is a land of temptation becuase of its abundance, the shopping, the travel, the food, the women...

I still want to climb the highest peaks here, cross the vast greenlands, meet the president...but for now i want to go home. To a place where drivers on the road have the restrain to not sound their horns at every vehicle that crosses them, and back to my hokkien mee.

Eating My Words

Of late I seem to be constantly reminded that my choices seem to be the opposite of my once verbal dictum - from the boy i date, to the bag i carry, to what i put on my face.

Lesson learnt, never say never, life's constantly revolving and surprises are always around the corner. The fickle heart convinces the principled soul. I'm just waiting for me to surprise me with the next 'I would never...' and then bite myself on the tongue again.

Then again who's judging? Captain Badass whilst being the opposite of my infamous criterion of the male species turned out to be the perfect specimen. Hey, you can't be right all the time!

But I do hope what i said about never marrying an Indian wouldn't come true...

A Monologue

If life was spread out like chapters in a book, where would i be bookmarked at this point? at the end of the chapter or at the start of another?

It's another one of those unexplainable queeze forming inside my gut. A small cherry of doubt growing amidst my increasingly mechanical lifestyle. I know i'm getting restless, but why?
Maybe i do have the patience of a peanut, maybe i do need another challenge.

A brief re-read of my china journal takes me down memory lane to days of youth, brash spontaneity and fearlessness. And yet it worries me me that while my collagen is slowing breaking down, i'm no where near coming to a kick-ass ground breaking idea that i can mother and grow. And i'm frustrated. Surely there is more to life than timelines and FAs.

But such is the pits and troughs of life....and i may have hit inertia for a while.
I think it's time to hit first gear again and continue looking for my inspiration.
In the meantime maybe i can lose some weight and become a better looking bookcover.