Mullings of a Mortal Female

Follow my blog with bloglovin

2010-07-28T12:49:00.000+08:00

The 14 lost hours

2010-05-26T05:04:00.003+08:00

14 friggin hours on the plane. It's been a long time since i sat in one place for that long.

As i half laid on my barely reclining seat, i looked longingly at the business class drawn curtain and wished i would soon be in a horizontal position.

It was painful. I hardly slept more than 4 hours and wasn't too impressed with the available in-flight movies.

12 hours later, we were Milan. The jet lag was setting in but we didn't leave the plane as we got bribed with more airline food (yay they served Ferraro Rocher!).

It was another 2 hours before we would get to Barcelona.

But we did arrive eventually. Imagine my delight on finding my knees again....and finally my luggage as well.

SQ378

2010-05-23T18:58:00.002+08:00

I am a self confessed control freak. It's little wonder that I get extra paranoid when packing for a long trip. I do need to ensure that I have ample matching underwear and not-quite-enough no. of shirts that are versatile enough for a stroll in the park and a night out. And packing for toiletries are a nightmare, 'do i need a day cream AND a night cream?'.

Yes, but such is the excitement of travelling.

It's been more than 4 years since I last took a holiday that lasted more than 10 days and a 7hr flight. Spain has been on our calenders for more than 6 months, it all started when Adrian sent me a link to PRIMAVERA SOUND and excitedly exclaiming (with the number of exclamation marks) on MSN, 'I wanna go!!!!!'
I began planning - from painstakingly picking out our accommodation, to planning the rail route, to finding out how much does bottled water cost.

And now, with our bags are packed, and holiday cash stashed in 3 different compartments. (we did find highly creative avenues of keeping cash that would put a bank to shame).
I have since decided to trace our journey through my under-utilised blog, with the hope that Spanish WIFI does not disappoint.

And so, I leave family and friends, emails and iphone behind, to follow the falling Euro, volcanic ash and La Liga.

I can almost hear the boarding call.
Ready, Jet Set, Go!

The Death of a Bunny

2009-08-12T13:37:00.013+08:00

Little Lindt Bunny has been sitting on my table since Apr. It was the very first gift that Adrian gave me. I remembered she was exchanged at the balcony of The Ogilvy Centre with a Cola flavoured lip balm. I had just returned from Hong Kong and a chocolate Easter bunny was a pleasant surprise. It all seemed so long ago.

I decided today that her time was up. Her death certificate at the bottom read 'Expiry: Aug 2009'.

I know that she would rather make an impact on my tastebuds and waistline then die a moldy existence on my table.

As part of the mourning, I documented her slow delicious demise....

This is her in all her gold foil glory

In her Birthday Suit.....

First to go....her ears.....

She's got no brains!!!

Since she doesn't have a brain...why does she need a head?

At this point there were exclaimations of "You ate your rabbit!??!"

YES I DID. AND SHE WAS GOOOOOOOD.

R.I.P little bunny. You did good with your existence. Maybe i'll see you again next year.

All that's left of my Lindt Bunny....

I feel strangely melancholic now that she's gone and I do miss her a bit

My Lemonade List

2009-08-12T13:09:00.003+08:00

Adrian showed me the trailer of the new movie, Lemonade this morning. It seems like a socio-documentary of the amazing lives some individuals lead after their unlucky lay-offs. I was envious.

I've been thinking for the last few weeks, months...actually years on the things i want to do when i have the TIME. I've been devising my plan for early retirement since my days in college, whether through a marraige of finanical convenience (I've dropped this idea...) or developing the next Google (maybe still possible?!). But it scares me to think that the older i grow, the more I get caught up in the rat race, which goes against everything i've ever preached about while growing up.

While i realise i would never become a Melvin, trekking to Nepal without a plan or traveller's cheques, it is nice to not be the one planning, to live one day at a time, without a care in the world, without the sensibilities of adulthood.
My split personalities are surfacing, the Lin that has everything under control and the Lin that wants to be Peter Pan. I'm not sure how far each one would go.

But i hate feeling vulnerable and confused.

So to indulge myself in the office, I decided to re-visit my list of "What I want to do if I had all the time in the world".

Here are the top 15
1) MASTER the violin
2) Pick up the Piano again
3) Pick up my Jap again
4) Learn French
5) Learn to bake, cook, sew without killing anyone in the process (including myself)
6) Learn to fly a plane
7) Make a short film inspired by 'Travelling'
8) Write a book about both my grandfathers for our 4th generation
9) Learn to drum
10) Paint a wall mural
11) Start a band
12) Be a jazz singer
13) Get a law and art history degree
14) Learn sign language
15) Become a hustler at the pool table

I realised that I did manage to start on many of these but never managed to follow through with any. Perhaps soon in the near future, I would make the time to finally hit professional recognition with one of these, even if it means doing it after 7pm.

Otherwise, it might not be too late to start after 55.

From the winter of 2007

2009-08-04T01:20:00.001+08:00

November 07

Annual Contemplation

It's that time of the year again....towards end, when you sit and think over the events and chapters that unfolded over the last 12 months (well almost...) I know it's an over-used line but time really flies....it's scary...At the beginning of 2006 I was still in Shanghai trudging through the cold Chinese winter working my ass off till the wee hours of the morning in a pounding electronica club filled with booze-tranquilized individuals. Today, I’m working in the middle of Singapore’s Shenton Way, running up and down a swanky mega ad agency (A mere figment of my imagination back in Feb). How the tide has turned and time changes everything. 2006 is indeed a symbolic year for me, with enough activities and memories for me to spin stories in the coming years ahead.

Amidst the speed of action and tumultuous events of 2006, I seem to have lost some time and memories which I should have stopped to savor. And now, when the dust has settled, I find that time to breathe, to ponder, to think about events, people and lessons that are dear to me. It’s all slowly coming back to me…in flashes of sights, sounds, smells…I can sometimes almost feel myself back in Shanghai and how real it feels standing at the Bund, walking along Huai Hai Road, the walls of BonBon, the street of my old house, the smell of the bbq mutton sticks, the people that I left behind. And yet women are capricious creatures, whilst I remain reminiscent of my Shanghai adventure, I carry the hope and excitement of a new adventure in Singapore, a taste of another side of life I have yet experienced. Maybe the grass is always greener on the other side.

Who knows where I’ll be the same time next year, writing another annual blog entry. For now, I’m waiting to celebrate Christmas again in Singapore but also romanticizing the thought of autumn leaves falling on the boulevards of Shanghai. I think I just need the peace and stability back in my life as I leave the action of youth behind….

China Diaries Part 2 (Sept 2006)

2009-08-04T01:18:00.001+08:00

Another one....

September 11

China Diaries Part 2

Friday afternoon....it was IMpossible to get a cab in this city....goodness....why are there so many people??? what happens when your country faces a population of such gastronomic numbers? the result....they needed to be herded like sheeps, herded with whistles to cross the road, get on and off the train, to get into queues...and yet....they STILL never learn.

I had my queue cut thrice today by some smart suitted, briefcase carrying chinamen. can't they just wait for their turn?

It made me wonder....perhaps this is really survival of the fittest...from youth it has been imbued in them that if they do not fight for what they need, they would never get it....it would never be THEIR turn...because there are just too many people to fight with. Back home...it was always, get in queue for your turn. Thought it irritates the shit out of me when someone cuts in front of me at macdonalds and shoves their money at the cashier for their next hamburger....it taught me that 'when in china, do as the chinese do'....haha i've mastered the art of fighting for cabs that friday afternoon. I had to fight with old people, women with crying babies, couples.....but oblivious to all, i did it the china style - open the door and sit in before the previous passenger pays and gets off.....otherwise i would never have gotten to my destination.

When will the people really learn and change....i thought...perhaps never becase they are always faced with the defacto problem of people, more people and more people. The masses would need to be herded like cows, propogated from young....no wonder communism prospered in this country.

We all have ugly sides to our society, china non-withstanding....i guess i'll just have to learn to accept that and stop rolling my eyes whenever the people rush into the trains and try to wriggle their butts for a place in the already-very-full roll of seats.

Looking at the bright side: more people = bigger market = more biz opportunities.......i'm still staying

China Diaries Part 1 (Sep 2006)

2009-08-04T01:13:00.001+08:00

An old entry from my previous blog space

September 06

China Diaries Part I

6 months and 1 day into china, unbelievably i'm still alive.

The pre-china beliefs about the dirties toilets, spitting men, cows on the streets, bicycles instead of cars....well i realised some are just half-baked truths.

China is still an amazing country and it never ceases to amaze, the people, the culture, the scenes, the history...

But sometimes enough is enough....the longing for some solid hokkien mee and chai tow kuay is beginning to kick in....the constant chinese chatterings (gasp! worse...shanghainese chattering) is seriously beginning to bug me, i can't even order a burger at macdonald's in english...which explains why i have to pen this down in english.

The idea of queuing does not really exist in these people's mind, it gets bothersome when your polite singaporean attitude kicks in...which on the flipside can be read as inability to fight for what you want. On this side of the world, it's the survival of the fittest, as it has always been for the past 100 over years.

In a way, China really lets you see the best and worst of yourself, i don't hate it and i don't hate it...but i appreciate my time of growth and learning here. People come to this country with expecations and the elitist idea that they are better and smarter than the comrades here, unfortunately this myopic vision would only limit the vast amount of experience and knowledge you can otherwise learn here. The chinese have much to learn indeed, but honestly so do the rest of us.

This is a land of temptation becuase of its abundance, the shopping, the travel, the food, the women...

I still want to climb the highest peaks here, cross the vast greenlands, meet the president...but for now i want to go home. To a place where drivers on the road have the restrain to not sound their horns at every vehicle that crosses them, and back to my hokkien mee.

Eating My Words

2009-08-04T00:52:00.002+08:00

Of late I seem to be constantly reminded that my choices seem to be the opposite of my once verbal dictum - from the boy i date, to the bag i carry, to what i put on my face.

Lesson learnt, never say never, life's constantly revolving and surprises are always around the corner. The fickle heart convinces the principled soul. I'm just waiting for me to surprise me with the next 'I would never...' and then bite myself on the tongue again.

Then again who's judging? Captain Badass whilst being the opposite of my infamous criterion of the male species turned out to be the perfect specimen. Hey, you can't be right all the time!

But I do hope what i said about never marrying an Indian wouldn't come true...

A Monologue

2009-06-18T15:46:00.002+08:00

If life was spread out like chapters in a book, where would i be bookmarked at this point? at the end of the chapter or at the start of another?

It's another one of those unexplainable queeze forming inside my gut. A small cherry of doubt growing amidst my increasingly mechanical lifestyle. I know i'm getting restless, but why?
Maybe i do have the patience of a peanut, maybe i do need another challenge.

A brief re-read of my china journal takes me down memory lane to days of youth, brash spontaneity and fearlessness. And yet it worries me me that while my collagen is slowing breaking down, i'm no where near coming to a kick-ass ground breaking idea that i can mother and grow. And i'm frustrated. Surely there is more to life than timelines and FAs.

But such is the pits and troughs of life....and i may have hit inertia for a while.
I think it's time to hit first gear again and continue looking for my inspiration.
In the meantime maybe i can lose some weight and become a better looking bookcover.

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 8 - The Finishing Line

2008-08-23T10:34:00.001+08:00

I JUST HAD BREAKFAST!!!!!! Now i know why breakfast is called break-fast. It was the best breakfast i ever had, with the explosion of taste. I had 2 plates of fruits with watermelon, pineapple and honeydew, the sweet, juicy, tangy flavours were all dancing on my desensitized tongue. I couldn't resist and stole a few bites of toast and scrambled eggs from my sister. I snacked on Coco Crunch too! DELICIOUS! My teeth can finally exercise again.

Finally the last of my coffee colemas are done! I spent 90% of the time, peeing Kopi-O from my backside (I sure hope you are not having your morning coffee while reading this). There were still some residue gunk that came out, but nothing too grotesque. I feel clean, light and ready to eat again! I'm sure I wouldn't be pissing through my ass for a long long time now....

Now that my suitcase is near its brink of explosion and my wallet's almost empty. We are all packed up and ready to go home. But not before i spend the day shopping (and eating) in Ubud. My week in Bali has been most memorable, in an alternative kind of way. Now that I've gone through the whole programme, I do feel thoroughly cleansed, lighter and with better skin! It has been a self-discovery journcy to know how far I can stretch myself, with that brings lessons of humility and discipline. I'm sure many people also want to know how much weight i've lost, I'm pretty excited myself. But I'm too ecstatical now, knowing that I have a day of eating ahead of me....so i'll leave the reflections, afterthoughts and results when i get back home, as a post-detox blog entry.

For now, it's good bye Bali, I'll be back to eat all that you can offer! See ya all back home!

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 7 - The end of all Psyllium shakes

2008-08-22T21:04:00.005+08:00

That's it! I'm done with all the damn psyllium bentonite shakes. I'm never ever ever going to taste the indigestible solution ever again!

I've also just finished my last water colema (just one more coffee colema to go in the morning).
Having a colema is like farting, peeing and shitting through the same hole. Most of the time, you are pissing out water, but occasionally you do feel a tightness in your lower abdomen, then it slowly starts to fill with water and bloat, that's when the cramping comes in. By now, i know the pattern and what that means. Your body is basically telling you that there is a blockage in your tummy, that's why the cramping happens and water is not able to pass. This also usually means that the cramping will be followed by a deluge of globbish feaces. Perhaps the best imagery of the excrement would be like how sausages are made through the machine - minced pork on one end, and stringy globs of compacted meat on the other. (Hot dogs anyone?)

My feet are now happily soaking in the magnesium footbath at the moment (this is suppose to enliven the tired dehydrated cells of my body who have been so busy purging the toxins). After that i'm left with one more course of supplements, my floral growth drink, then it's off to bed to wait for morning to come! I am so excited, i have butterflies in my stomach (or maybe it's just the hunger)

We are checking out tmr morning so we gotta pack everything tonight. We have a driver coming at 11am tmr to chauffer us around Bali on our last day before the final airport transfer. The plan is for me to visit Ubud tmr with the last batch of shopping to be done.

I'm really happy to go home now...i miss my bed, i miss my work, i miss my parents & friends, i miss the parties and i miss the food!!!
The clock is ticking.....HURRAY!!!

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 7 - Water Parade

2008-08-22T12:36:00.004+08:00

I'm off to get another 2 bottles of Aqua from the mama shop opposite my hotel. My sister jokingly claims that I have a water parade everyday since i'm chugging down at least 3 big 1.5l bottles of water everyday. Yes and the toilet bowl is my best friend here in Bali....

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 7 - The Degustation Menu...

2008-08-22T11:06:00.003+08:00

I'm just left with half a day to go! woo hoo! I've just read through the detox booklet again just to make sure that i haven't left out anything before i end the whole programme. To my disappointment, i realise that i'm allowed to eat only raw food and juices (like fruits & vege) on the first day after the detox. The days after that, i can start introducing cooked greens. Carbos and meat should only be consumed at least 3 days thereafter. It all sounds like a tragedy to me at this point in time, although i don't think a teensy weensy bite of bakso or chocolate is going to kill me tmr.

The coffee colema this morning was quite shit-less, whatever that came out were basically 'floaties' that were a greenish seaweed colour. That probably came from all the supplments that i've been swallowing. I realise i haven't been describing the stuff that i've been ingesting all this time, let me shed some light on that now.

As part of the programme, 5 times a day, I'm supposed to be taking 12 multicoloured pills a day, washed down with either coconut water or vegetable broth. The coconut water is probably the ONLY thing i look forward to in the day. My degustation menu consists of

1) 6 x Greenlife Nutrients tablets -
This dark green tablet tastes (and smells) like dead fish. It's the nastiest of the lot to swallow. And since it takes up 50% of the diet, I reckon this is the stuff that makes the output of my colemas greenish and sea-weed looking. It supposedly contains 92% of organic young cereal grass, barley, oat, rye and wheat. It also contains sea kelp and chlorophyll, which is what gives it the green fishy taste. This little tablet is considered a raw 'superfood' and can provide all the essential minerals, vitamins and enzymes needed to support the body without requiring any digestive activity because it is directly assimilated into the bloodstream.

2) 3 x Wheat Germ/Flaxseed Oil capsules -
This is the easiest of the lot to swallow because it is tasteless. It basically looks like the yellow cod-liver oil capsules that we eat as kids. The oils in the capsule contain a high content of Vitamin E and essential fatty acids which will protect the body tissues and red blood cells.

3) 2 x Whole Beet Plan Juice tablets -
These 2 tiny purple tablets makes your tongue a gross reddish-purple. Beets contain potassium, magnesium, calcium, iodine, vitamins and a high content of iron needed for critical body support.

4) 2 x Natural Source Vitamin C tablets -
I call this 'my dessert' because it is the only stimulant for my severely handicapped tastebuds. I suck it like a sweet right at the end. It tastes sour, tangy and slightly sweet because it consists of the dehydrated juice of cherries and wild spanish oranges, balanced with molasses honey. It doesn't taste as good as the chewable orange Vitamin C tablets from the pharmacy but it's my cafe au lait in the last 7 days (i rather have this than the nasty greenlife nutrient tablets).

Then once a day, I also include 'snack food' that doesn't taste a bit like potato chips

1) 2 x Herbal Supplements
Taken at 7pm with my last psyllium shake of the day. The combination of those 2 are the most disgusting, nausesating thing in the world. The shake with it's bland gooey texture and the herbal supplement that is powdery and taste like charcoal pills. Leaves a horrible bitter after taste. I'm glad I only need to have this once a day

2) 1 x Floral Growth capsule.
Easy to swallow and tasteless. The capsule basically contains probotics (healthy bacteria) which helps to re-colonize and maintain healthy levels of friendly bacteria throughout the gut. On the last night and morning of the last day, the 2 tablets need to be emptied into a glass of water and made into a drink. It needs to ferment for 8 hours before drinking. I'm going to make my first glass in about an hour and I suspect it's gonna taste a bit like Yakult (i hope).

So this is all the gastronomical gourmet food that I get to enjoy in the last 7 days. Sounds really palatable eh? Well I'm due for my lunch with vegetable broth now, before i head off to Jalan Legian for more shopping. Still counting down!

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 6 - My Idea of Heaven

2008-08-21T18:44:00.004+08:00

ICE CREAM CHOCOLATE PRAWN MEE TAHU GORENG AVOCADO MILKSHAKE KRISPY KREME TURKISH BREAD PASTA AGLIO OLIO FOIE GRAS PRIME RIB CREME BRULEE WHISKEY ON THE ROCKS PANCAKES CHAR KWAY TEOW BBQ STINGRAY TEQUILA SHOTS CHICKEN RICE ICE COLD BEER CAJUN FRIES MACDONALDS CHEESEBURGER MEE BAKSO WONTON MEE PANNA COTTA STEAMBOAT PEANUT BUTTER COKE MALBARO MENTHOL LIGHTS FRENCH TOAST TOFU SUSHI CURRY PUFF HOT CHOCOLATE BUTTER CROISSANT CHEESE OMELETTE NASI LEMAK GIN TONIC GORENG PISANG BEEF NOODLE SOUP MUSSELS LOBSTER THERMIDOR NASI BRYANI PORK CHOP ICE KACHANG SAMBAL SOTONG CEMPEDAK ICE CREAM ROTI PRATA NUTELLA CHOCOLATE FONDANT PROSCUITTO HAM WITH ROCK MELON PIZZA MASHED POTATO INSTANT NOODLES WITH LUNCHEON MEE AND EGG SOFT SHELL CRAB YANG ROU CHUAN CHICKEN WINGS MACADEMIA NUT VANILLA MILKSHAKE TEH HALIA CODFISH WITH CREAM SAUCE SATAY FISHBALL SORBET WINE TANDOORI CHICKEN BAK KUT TEH

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 6 - Beach Bum

2008-08-21T18:28:00.003+08:00

It's almost the end of Day 6!!!! which means there is only 1 more day of starvation to go!
My sister and I spent the ENTIRE day just grilling by the beach. I'm nicely sunkissed a golden brown now :)

The food cravings today were more bearable because it was much easier to lie by the beach and not be faced with the constant temptation of food from the numerous restaurants in Bali. Although I do have a confession to make: I missed a 'meal' of the nauseating psyllium shake. Alice, my consultant did say that with my body weight, 4 shakes a day were sufficient to purge the toxins out. Hence missing one shake today shouldn't be a cardinal sin. The truth is that I just couldn't stomach another one of those digusting mixture, especially not when i have to make it on the beach.....I wonder if that would affect my colema later.

The weather was lovely today, the sky was fairly cloudy so the sun wasn't scorchingly painful but just enough to bake us to a nice crisp tan. I love it when i get a tan without burn. The beaches of Bali are also filled with white bodies, namely topless french chicks and hairy italian men. Not much eye candy though, since most of the better looking men we saw were usually walking around in twos.

It's been a long long time since I could lie by the beach and do nothing but read. But the truth is, I can't wait to get back. Seriously....because getting back = food!!!!
haha yes, i'm going a bit over my toppers now. Think i better go hit the shower, before my colema for the night, then it's out for dinner! (i usually just have a camomile tea while my travel partners feast on local delicacies before my very eyes, and nose. Just like dinner last night at Bale Bali with Ming, Devy and Danny....an inexorable act indeed....Poor Lin)

ONE MORE DAY ONE MORE DAY ONE MORE DAY ONE MORE DAY

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 5 - The Day of Relaxation

2008-08-20T16:22:00.004+08:00

Ahhh just came back from a facial and a massage, royal shiok-ness. We're halfway through Day 5. Very slow, chill-lax day today, especially since Hazel's gone, we are starting to see the noise decibel go down but the boredom scale go up. We miss you Hazel!

I went about my usual activities of colema, psyllium shakes and rainbow supplements. The output from the colemas are starting to become more or less the same. I spit more water than gunk and the gunk basically look (and feel) like globs of greenish grey. It's all the psyllium husk and supplements mixed together, and being pulled from my intestinal walls. Not a pretty sight indeed and still can't bring myself to examine it from a nose's distance. I'm not that gross.

As for the rest of my daily diet, i'm getting really really REALLY sick of washing down all that psyllium shake. It looks (and probably tastes) like paper-maché (a construction material that consists of pieces of paper, stuck together using a wet paste like glue, starch, or wallpaper adhesive - sounds delicious?). I swear to God, that I will never have another sip of psyllium shake in my life when i'm through with this programme. I'll be happy to empty the remaining psyllium and betonite water directly into the toilet bowl when i'm done, but it's probably going to choke up the poor pipes - well that's how gross and thick the whole mixture can become. Then again, it doesn't seem to make any difference now, since the psyllium and betonite water are going directly into the bowl anyway, except it has to pass through my rectum first.

I do get increasingly happy when i see the number of supplements slowly reducing in numbers, it can only mean that i'm near the end of my self-inflicted torture. Although I must admit that going though this detox voluntarily is truely a once-in-a-lifetime experience, it makes me very aware of what my mind can accomplish in the face of temptation. And temptation is certainly flirting with me in the form of Anthony Bourdain on Discovery Travel and Living.
(at this point, I am dreaming of wanton mee, turkish bread, pancakes with maple syrup and Oreo cookies - don't ask me why I came up with this odd combination).

I can't tell you how much i'm looking forward to Saturday. I'm left with 2.5 days to go, waiting for food has never felt so agonizing. Nevertheless, this is all very humbling and it makes me look at food from another perspective. Also having gone through this whole experience, I'm confident that I will have the determination and resolution to go through more difficult choices in life. OM SHANTI SHANTI....

*To show your support for Lin in her quest to battle intestinal toxins, please donate generously to lin@colemas-rock.com. Alternatively, she also accepts all form of moral support.

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 4 - Thank You

2008-08-19T23:06:00.003+08:00

Just have enough time at the end of the day to drop a short one. I'm exhausted after moving rooms, going for a day trip to see the Ancient Temples, Monkey Forest and sunset at Taman Lot. The day was brought to a beautiful end with dinner at Jimbaran Bay. We dined on the beach, facing the sea. I even had a Balinese band sing me my birthday song.

Of course, the only thing that was missing was my birthday cake, and dinner....
I really think that my will power is being tested to its maximum. I stuck with my take out menu of psyllium shakes and supplements the entire day, despite being just subjected to temptations by bbq spiced corn, bbq balinese seafood. It's getting harder and harder not to think of food, with the numerous Babi Guning stalls around....the peanuts at dinner never looked so delicious till today. But i'm sure, the more temptation tries to get me, the stronger i'll stand. NO TO FOOD. (although i'm already planning my menu on Saturday when i break fast)

This is too tiring, I'm probably gonna sleep in a little tmr....it's been a wonderful birthday spent with my best pals, and receiving numerous best wishes and surprises. Thank you all! Till tmr.... (Only 3 more days to go!!!)

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 4 - BIRTHDAY SURPRISE!!!

2008-08-19T09:39:00.001+08:00

OH MY GOD, THE HOTEL STAFF JUST CAME WITH ANOTHER SURPRISE FOR ME!!!
Kate....thank you so much, i love the flowers!!!!! This definately helped to cheer me up. Sigh...girlfriends are so much more dependable than the boys. I'm really touched that all my gals made an effort to make me happy. To all my friends, thank you for your presents, wishes and SMSes, I'm going to get through this. Wait for me, i'll be back - see you all in Zouk.

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 4 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY LIN!

2008-08-19T08:55:00.002+08:00

I'M AT THE HALFWAY MARK!!!! and what a way to spend my birthday - starving. Just done with my coffee colema this morning....i'm starting to get so good at it, i can even multi-task with SMSes and fall asleep while lying there. It's beginning to be a less uncomfortable experience, with less cramping and bloating. I could even manage to do a few abdominal massage while lying there as Alice said that it would help 'get things moving' inside while doing the colema.
Disappointing tho, there was not much gunk today. (maybe that means that there's nothing left in there to clear?)

Well nevertheless this is going to be an unforgettable birthday. I have to recap the happening of yesterday's activities. While the girls went out to Ubud for their day trip, i was left alone in the hotel with MY INCREDIBLE HULK. i must it was rather depressing when they were still not back by 9pm (i was starting to get bored with spending time with me). So anyway, they arrived back at 10pm, all happy giggling and, GASP HOLDING SHOPPING BAGS!!!!! And Lin the queen of shopping could only look on with envious eyes, trying to convince everyone that she's cool about staying indoors and shitting the whole day. NO I AM NOT COOL! especially not when they proudly displayed their bargain bounty before my very eyes. Again....why am i doing this to myself?

But i must say, they tried very hard to make me feel better about it. My sister promised to take me back to Ubud for shopping on another day, and they came back specially to bring me OUT of the hotel to celebrate my birthday. Yay, i finally get a chance to play dress up, and this was my FIRST night out in Bali given that i've been here for 3 days. The destination was KUDETA bar, a really nice beachfront restaurant/bar with the zouk-like vibes.

Of course i had to relate everything back to party homeground. I went around the place segmenting the area into the 'velvet', 'zouk', 'phuture' and 'winebar'. It's beautiful to be able to party just in front of the beach. The place was swarming with ang mohs and ang moh wannabes.
Luckily for us, we managed to 'chope' a day bed seat before the place started to get crowded.
There the girls whipped out my birthday surprise! They gave me 2 of the dresses that they bought earlier! THEY REMEMBERED ME AFTER ALL....I LOVE YOU ALL BABES!
My darling Hazel also treated me to my party drink of pineapple juice and camomile tea. Camomile tea at a party! This should go into the record books as a first for Miss Lin.
The truth was, I probably wasn't even supposed to be drinking pineapple juice because there is sugar in there. But whatever, it's my birthday and this is my little treat!

What was really cruel was that since i'm out, it's inevitable for me to meet with food. The girls were hungry and they ordered two basket of turkish bread and were tucking in right in front of me. Mr Bread never looked that good....and my stomach was actually rumbling. 3 more days, just 3 more days....

So today is going to be spent on a day trip with Hazel and my sister who insisted that I need to leave the room. We are going to Taman Ayun and to see the Tanah Lot sunset. It's going to be a bit of a logistical challenge for me to plan and pack all my 'meals in' but I'll figure something out.
The craving for food and the hunger pangs are really getting to me.....and i must say it is a very humbling experience - good training for my will power.

Ok, it's 9am, time for my concall. will check back here later.

MY DETOX BLOG: Photos will be updated

2008-08-18T12:58:00.001+08:00

Oh by the way, i've taken photos to chart the whole progress. I'll upload the images to the threads accordingly later. Stay with me!

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 3 - Sun Burnt

2008-08-18T12:55:00.006+08:00

I spent the morning with the girls at the breakfast table. There was a spread of toast, butter croissant, piping hot omelettes with cheese, fresh fruits and potato wedges– basically the works. It was difficult to ‘smell no evil’ but Hazel kept asking me not to look at her chow down her sugared butter toast. Food never smelled that good. Still I wasn’t super hung up on it…I could actually manage sober conversation with everyone at the table.

(They had the CoCo Crunch....)

(While I had the water....)

The girls were planning to go to Ubud today for a day trip but I decided to give it a miss as I really just wanted to chill in the hotel, by the pool, go for massages etc.
So it’s me, we and us today. I might just go for a swim and watch a few DVDs (yes I brought my own DVDs courtesy of KC boy).

And I have to admit that I didn’t make it to any parties last night. After the colema, I was hit by a wave of exhaustion and I figured it might be better going straight to bed. Can you believe that I rejected a party!?!?!?!? Sorry to disappoint if you’ve wagered a bet on me turning to the alcohol.
It didn’t really help though cos I happened to turn to a channel on CNA which was showcasing Beijing’s culinary delights – I could almost taste the Peking Duck, the crispy skin, melting fat, juicy oil shreds of meat. (SSTTOOOPPPP!!!)

Another reason or my staying indoors is also because i'm terribly burnt (quite like the Peking duck without the fat haha). Any more sun exposure and i might just die from UV radiation. i also didn't wanna be a damper to the rest with my incessant toilet breaks and 1.5hourly meal times. I'm quite happy vegetating in my bed. Really.....

(I'm still alive!)

(My sun-baked shoulder)

I’ve also been continually looking forward to this coming Saturday, only because it’s the last day of my fast!!! I get to start eating again. I’ve already been asking around for the healthiest restaurants in town to have my lunch and dinner. Even boiled vegetables and raw alfafa sounds inviting at this moment.

Admittedly, the hunger is kicking in now, and my stomach is growling (I probably dropped 2 inches already). Think I’m gonna look for some ‘food’. Psyllium shake, here I come!

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 3 - The morning after

2008-08-18T12:51:00.002+08:00

I have just completed my coffee colema this morning and by now I must say that by now I’m kinda accustomed to doing this whole thing. The cramping isn’t too bad and I’m starting to go through the whole process like a pro. What’s amazing though is that with 2 days of no food, I’m still expelling loads of shit. I can feel more globs of gooey excrement in last night and this morning’s detox.
I guess this should mean that I’m doing quite well in the detoxing.

Ooh my coconut water is here! Later….
(this piece was written bright and early on 18 Aug (Mon), 9am)

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 2 - The Colema Experience

2008-08-18T12:50:00.004+08:00

I woke up at 730am this morning, a little later than i should according to my timetable. Hazel got up way earlier than me for her full-day dive and was out of the room by 7am (well done for her).

My day started with my first detox shake (really something to look forward to *eyes rolling*). I was due for my 1st coffee colema this morning, but the hotel staff took a longer time to prepare it, hence delaying my treatment.

At this point, i must say that having done one water colema the night before, the experience was still something that i'm not exactly looking forward to. I'll get to the details later.
So anyway, at 745am, a security guard turns up at my door with a gallon of coffee water. (it's basically the size of the bottles we use at the dispenser machinese, except this one now is filled with 1/3 organic coffee and 2/3 purified drinking water). Haha and guess where all this coffee is going to go? i'll never look at coffee the same way again =) The security guard probably thinks that I have an serious case of caffeine addiction.

Now before you read on, this is a disclaimer: the following content is only for the highly inquisitive, the following details may be offensive to some. I'll try to describe the whole process in the most refined way possible. I guess finding out about the colemas is the best part of the story and the part where most people were begging for details with their eyes wide open.
Ok i'm going to be honest, it's a very very awkward process and it definately one of those things that you'll have to do with only yourself (even a brazilian wax can't beat the level of embarassment). In fact, even i feel uncomfortable in the presence of myelf.

So anyway, i've been taught by Alice yesterday how to set the whole thing up. I've been given, a water stand, a green colema board (which i've nicknamed THE INCREDIBLE HULK), a long tube, a syringe, a thinner tube that resembles a hard plastic straw, a plastic sieve basket and a bottle of Olive Oil (YES OLIVE OIL!!!!!)

This is what happens, firstly the water bottle has to be set on top of the water stand, with the opening facing upwards, then i drop the long water tube (with a weight on one end) into the water bottle. THE INCREDIBLE HULK looks like a Tobogan/wakeboard, about 1.5m long and an opening on one end, to be placed above the toilet bowl. Above the opening, there is a cover that resembles a half helmet, called the Splash Guard - guess i don't have to tell you what that means). What happens is that the other end of the water tube from the water bottle, would go through a small hole in the splash guard, the thin plastic straw like thing (called the colema tube) is then attached with the water tube. To start the water flow, simply use the syringe to siphon the water from the open end of the water tube before closing the water lock. When the set up is complete, the colema tube would be proudly erect above the opening to the deep abyss of the toilet bowl below. The other end of the board would be resting on a chair, so that the final position would be horizontal to the ground.

When that is all complete, you then mount the board (yes, i did choose my words carefully), and assume a childbirth position. Your bottom half should be facing the toilet bowl with your tush positioned at the opening of the splashguard, with legs spread apart. With a little help of the olive oil, you slowly ease the colema tube that is sticking out now, into well, your asshole.

After lying down on the board and making myself comfortable with a pillow behind my head, I took a deep breath and counted 1, 2, 3 before unsnapping the water lock. Almost immediately, I can feel the surge of water slowing filling up my tummy. I can’t even begin to explain in words how uncomfortable and whole first experience is to me. It felt horrible, when the water kept flowing in and didn’t seem to come out. My whole stomach bloated and there was a nagging cramping feeling, at one point it even felt as if the water was going to come out from my mouth. I could take the pain and discomfort any longer, so I snap the water lock back to stop the water flow. Then, almost by reflex reaction, all hell broke loose, my rectum involuntarily rebelled against the tide of water and expelled all its content. This went on for a good 10 mins. It almost feels like having one good toilet session after the worst bout of constipation. When I felt like I could take more of it, I let the liquid flow again. By then my stomach was just naturally expelling the water out.

It took about 1 hr to finish the whole damn gallon of water but after that, it was jus smooth sailing. The truth is, 90% of what you excrete is just the water that is washing your colons, you don’t actually pass out solid matter, but more like diahorrhea-like waste. I was suppose to place the sieve basket in the toilet bowl to ‘catch’ the shit, honestly the thought of having to pick the sieve up and wash it later seemed a bit too gross, that’s why I didn’t bother. It was easier to just press FLUSH. But because of that, I was also unable to examine my waste specimen in greater detail.

I had to admit that when I was lying on the board, I was having second thoughts about going through the whole programme, especially when I could be digging into some nasi ayam. I kept thinking, ‘maybe I made the wrong decision – I’m in Bali, a place famous for its bountiful variety of cuisine). I got pretty depressed at first but I did come out feeling ‘clean’ and happy at satisfying my curiosity on the whole process. I don’t love doing the colemas, only because 1) it takes too damn long and I get bored (finishing all the water takes about 45mins!) and 2) it is a cumbersome process to set up and wash up. And by the end of singing with your ass for 45min, you actually feel kind of light-headed and the last thing you want to do is to clean up the mess. But I guess somebody’s gotta do the dirty job, and no one is volunteering for it but me.

The rest of the day was spent going thru the same process of drinking the psyllium shakes and multicoloured pills. I had the opportunity to get burnt at the beach and spend a few rupiahs in Jalan Legian because I managed to ta pow ‘3 meals’ with me. I have to devise a smart take-out system, otherwise I’ll be stuck in the hotel keeping to my regimented dining pattern. To everyone’s surprise here, I didn’t even feel hungry or food crazed, even though we passed by many delicious sounding cafes. Neither did I feel weak or lousy, as we managed to comb almost 3km of beach and 2km of shopping.

(the sand of Bali, taken while i was tanning my back)

(doesn't this photo look like the default pic from MSN?)

(the never-ending beaches of Bali)

(and the clear blue skies of Bali)

(and all i could have was a refreshing bottle of Aqua)

I’m almost done with my second day now, with one more colema and shake to go. My sunburn is also getting pretty serious and painful. It’s also party night tonight and I’m hitting a few bars with the girls (after their dinner which I’ve sadly dis-invited myself so that they can enjoy their food in pleasure). Well let’s hope I get though the night in one happy piece because tonight I have to go WITHOUT the alcohol.

Wish me luck! More updates on the party scene in Bali tmr!

(NOTE: this piece was written on 17 Aug (Sunday) but may have been posted later due to the inconsistent internet connection)

MY DETOX BLOG: Day 1 - In Bali

2008-08-16T17:48:00.005+08:00

I'm finally here....after a 630am flight with 2 hours sleep the night before, we arrived in the Island of the Gods, tired, hungover (for some of us) but nonetheless excited. Bali is certainly a place highly unconducive for work, with the sun, the streets with its myraid of interesting facades, swanky bars and restaurants alongside street diners (as you can see, trying to stay out of food's way is not going to be easy).

We arrived at the hotel at 10am, a small establishment with warm, friendly staff and free internet access (bet you'd never guess). The rooms are modestly simple, with a small kitchenette and a spacious outdoor bathroom.

Alice, my detox consultant arrives promptly for our meeting at 1030am. Of cos i knew it was Alice straight away as she waltzed in with a tub of tubes and packs and a big green wakeboard looking like thing, which i assume to be my best friend (the colema board) for the next week. We went through a comprehensive 30 mins briefing on what to expect, what to prepare, what to do and what not to do. Alice then gave me this time table which has me doing something every 1.5hrs. And i mean seriously, coming from me, timetables are supposed to be an occupational neccessity...but this one was the mother of all timelines. In total, i was to have 10 'mealtimes' a day, alternating between a delicious treat of betonite clay water and psyllium husk shake and a haute couture meal of supplements in all colours and sizes.

I took my first psyllium shake with Alice, and it tasted pretty nasty. Bland, gluey, pastey glops of Psyllium husk that coagulated in the thick clay water and had to be washed down in a total of 10 seconds. Psyllium husk are essential insoluble fibre that works like a 'scrub' in your intestines/colon. Bentonite clay water works like the clay mask that we put on our face, which works to absorb and attract all the toxins (only this one works within our body). Together, this superhero pair work to eliminate and purge all the toxins and compacted feaces in the intestinal walls when the colema is done later. The shake also helps to keep me satiated, promoting a sense of 'fullness' which means i don't feel hungry at all. At the time of this report, I have already washed down 3 of these psyllium shakes and i have one last one to go for the day.

Alternating between the psyllium shakes in 1.5hr intervals, i'm also supposed to be dining on a spectrum of supplements perfectly paired with coconut water. My menu reads: 6 Greenlife tablets, 3 Wheatgerm oil capsules, 2 Whole Beetroot tablets, 2 Vitamin C tables, take with coconut water. Actually, compared to the Psyllium shake, drinking coconut water with a couple of colourful pills ain't so bad - it just makes me feel kinda hypochondriac-al.

(i did my best food guide shot of my gourmet lunch, flower not included)

Alice did warn me that the full effects of the detox usually kicks in on Day 3-4, when i will start experiencing some detoxifying side effects, like headaches, crankyness, flu-like symptons etc. Of course this varies from person to person, and on the degree of toxic-ness. Nevertheless my roommates have granted me amnesty against any outbursts and potentially violent behaviour. At this point, I would also like to say that Hazel and my sister have been fairly considerate, making an effort to take their snacking breaks outside. Still it is going to be tough to go through this seeing all the chips, chocolate, biscuits and soft drinks that they bought. (why am i doing this again?)
Interestingly, I haven't felt hungry or had any cravings the whole of today. My non-stop dining has actually been keeping me quite satisfied. I'm just trying to get used to not having a meal time to look forward to, especially when the larger group is out for dinner. But having said that, this is only the first day, it's going to be difficult not to think about food.

ok as of this point I have conveniently left out details of the colema. haha it's a very interesting apparatus with an even more exciting process. I am going to start on my first one in about 30 mins but i'll leave the details for tmr's story and update.

time for my last psyllium shake of the day!

MY DETOX BLOG: Pre- Detox

2008-08-15T14:20:00.001+08:00

ok so here goes, i'm finally 12 hours away from my 7.5 days of foodless misery. The last 5 days have been a feeble attempt to accustom myself to the vacant existence of food in my life - i'm supposed to be on a non-alcohol, non-meat, non-dairy diet since Monday.
Of course with all the devil's advocates spreading their sphere of influence around me, i've listed 2 whiskeys on the rocks, 1 tequila shot, 2 cups of milo, 1 pork rib and half a creme brulee among the things that I look forward to discharge in the coming week.
(which isn't too bad, considering that i chose orange juice at team drinks and have laid off rice/bread, chocolate and ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!)

well, the excitement (and terror) of not using my molars for the next week has not really hit me. Amidst trying to clear shitloads of work and answering MSN messages of 'goodbye, good luck, have fun', i haven't really had the time to psyche myself properly for this. I'm just thinking that dinner tonight is going to be the last time my stomach gets to throw a party with food glorious food (so i better make it worth my while).

and for the benefit of all those who have heard of my grandiose detox plans, i am starting this detox blog to chart my day by day experience, change and err...excrement. I know many who have expressed a keen interest to know what's in the content of my intestinal walls, well we'll all know by Saturday afternoon =)

if you are rolling your eyes by now laughing at my insanity, let's just say i did it for a part mental/physical challenge, part vanity, part masochism, part fun and part health reason.
but this is only the start....stay with me folks....i'll get through this.

i'll see you all in Bali tmr!

I Finally Did It!

2008-06-10T11:36:00.000+08:00

Finally, in between all my pocket of free time in and out of work (boss, pls don't be reading this), i've set up my very first blog. Gosh, i've really caught on slow on this whole, 'look at me, i'm-an inspiring-writer' phenomenon. Fun.

First and foremost, this blog was set up more for my own narccissistic pleasure of having conversations with myself (instead of just talking in my head). So, if you are reading this, maybe you shouldn't really be here, unless you like to listen to me talk about me, myself, I and us.

So guess this is the start of a relationship with myself. I figured since i'm generally so full of verbal crap, putting it into visual crap should be fairly simple.
I've decided that this shall be an avenue for all my idiosyncratic views on all sorts of bullshit in this world, who knows maybe one day I would rule the world and this could become some paganistic scripture.

Hah. Read on my royal subjects...